Restful weekend, less restful night

[jethrien]

Had a lovely weekend. Spent Saturday watching TV in pajamas. Sunday, my mom came up and we went on a mad sewing spree. The result is two new skirts, Chuckro's tuxedo pants hemmed, and shawls for my bridesmaids.

I believe I mentioned before about my adventures trying to make a skirt. My waist is 36 1/2 inches. According to the back of the pattern, the biggest size the pattern made was an 18, whose waist was supposed to be something like 34 inches (remember, they've been changing sizes for the last couple decades so that larger women could still say they wear a 6). So I extrapolated a bit and made what should have been a 20. Which made me feel like a water buffalo. Well, I made said skirt, and said skirt is more like said skirt-and-a-half. Ginormous. I could practically have fit another person in there with me. After much fuss and pain, I managed to cut the skirt down to a reasonable size. I wanted to make another skirt from the same pattern. My mom and I very carefully measured everything on the pattern and did some math, and it turns out that I should be cutting things out to a size 14. Which, according to the back of the package, fits a 32 inch waist. My 36 1/2 inch waist fits just fine. In fact, it's a little loose. That pattern was total bull.

Also - I have four different sets of contradictory instructions on how to put in a zipper. Which after a lot of pain and effort, we also determined were total bullshit and needlessly complicated.

At least this all proves that my flounderings were not caused by my being an idiot, but by the people making patterns being liars. Lying liars, full of lies.

Unfortunately, last night was less pleasant. I had a dream that ended with what my mind constructed as a Doom Alarm. That is, I remember waking up totally convinced that an alarm had gone off that indicated that the Worst Thing Possible had happened and we were all Doomed Doomed Doomed. I literally woke up in a full-on adrenaline rush - total panic, racing pulse, cold sweat, panting, the works. For a second or two, I was well and truly convinced that I was doomed. Then I realized Chuckro was still asleep. Since there was no way he could have slept through the Doom Alarm - I mean, really, who sleeps through the Doom Alarm? It means Doom! - it finally penetrated my conciousness that there had in fact been no alarm. Perhaps because there is no such thing. Perhaps.

Combine that with the beginnings of a cold, and I am a zombie at work today...

Comments

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Wow, I am amazed at your resiliency with the sewing. After it being too big? I'd have given up. I wouldn't have even survived the zipper fiasco.

For a second or two, I was well and truly convinced that I was doomed. Then I realized Chuckro was still asleep. Since there was no way he could have slept through the Doom Alarm - I mean, really, who sleeps through the Doom Alarm? It means Doom!

Biggest giggles I've had all day. Cheers!

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Yeah, see, I loved the material. I really wanted this skirt. (I'll wear it to the next writing group, if I remember, and you'll see. It's both teal and sparkly.)

Yeah, I totally thought of you when writing about the Doom Alarm. That's what it really felt like, though - that it was a warning that something unfathomably awful had just happened.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Pardon me, but I should have used this icon before.

I happen to love teal, so I'll be jealous as fuck when next I see you. I'll bear-hug you to death...but with love! Uh, really!

And I don't see how we don't already have doom alarms. I mean, there was the rainbow terror system that was more popular when people used to swallow the bs about terror operating on a daily basis like UV exposure...

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Watch the bear-hugging - the sparkles on the skirt come off. The floor, the table, the ironing board, my flip-flops - all sparkly. After vacuuming.

[trinityvixen.livejournal.com]

Yipes. I am not such a fan of being covered in glitter. I will make air hugs, like I did with the sweaty roommate after her concert in the heat wave...

[(Anonymous)]

http://www.simplicity.com/index.cfm?page=comments.cfm

This site has information on pattern sizes, which I didn't check because they're probably as bogus as the back of the patterns. But it also has a place for you to comment. I recommend rantage. Severe, prolonged, whining in their general direction. They should share your pain. And your Doom Alarm.

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Ooh, now I have two websites to go rant to if I'm in the mood. (The other one is Chipotle. Because they have the most ridiculous, difficult-to-use, abusing-of-Flash corporate website ever created. I swear. We were just trying to order lunch, and it became an office-wide Ordeal.

[maydove.livejournal.com]

In my dreams I'm also convinced of things that don't happen/aren't necessary in reality. Often it's something like, "I must perform certain mathematical operations in order to wake up." I too am a zombie today because I keep going to sleep too late. Bwains? :: bats eyes ::

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Bwains! *happy gnawing on heads*

[cubby-t-bear.livejournal.com]

math operations! Wow. That must be great. You can do problem sets in your sleep!

[maydove.livejournal.com]

Eh...they're more like nonsensical operations than problem sets. Then there's a confusing point when I'm half asleep and I still think that I have to multiply x by y in order to be fully conscious.

[chantal1382.livejournal.com]

Shawls? We get shawls? whoo-hoo! (bwains are good too...)

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Well, the dresses are sleeveless, and the wedding's in late October. I was afraid I'd end up with maidsicles.