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And I say that as someone who went to WD-50 before it closed.
So, while in Bali, we went to a number of fancy restaurants, including two extremely high concept places back to back. I'd mentioned Mozaic, a French-based haut cuisine place with the boat of local ingredients on your table and the drinks menu that was literally a summary of the Ramayana. And the blowtorch for the nuts that came with my drink.
But Locavore was something else. Apparently Danish-based. It was the classic parody of an expensive fancy restaurant. Let me put it this way. The couple next to us turned out to be from Brooklyn. And we ended up bonding over our efforts to not laugh until the wait staff had gotten far enough away. The dude and I had both seen "Always Be My Maybe" and I swear, this would have been completely in character for the place if Keanu Reeves was sitting in a corner, listening on headphones to the sounds of the deer he was eating from when it was still in the forest, silently weeping and mouthing "Thank you." If they'd popped a bag full of flavored air in my face, I wouldn't have been surprised. It would have made a nice contrast to all the things they nonsensically misted with other things.
- Chuckro's drink also involved a blowtorch. His was called "Ashes" and was supposed to have a smoky profile. In his case, though, the blowtorch was to literally set fire to a pine cone, which was set to smolder in front of him, so the smell could kind of waft at him.
- We'd gotten used to boxes of flowers as offerings everywhere we went, so we weren't surprised when they set down a palm leaf box full of flowers when we were seated and told it was an offering and a way of welcoming us. We were surprised when they came back a few minutes later, sprinkled it with salt, misted it with hibiscus vinegar, presented us with chopsticks and told us to eat it. The flowers were all edible. (Including several I didn't know were edible, like cosmos.) Although really, by "edible" we mean "won't hurt you if you eat them." They were in no way delicious. Once we'd eaten our way through, we discovered that the menus were hidden underneath our flower salad course.
- This was just the first of several nonsensical amuse bouches.
- Next, they brought us an enormous arrangement of foliage in a giant bowl. It had two bamboo shoots sticking out, with lemongrass stalks sticking out of one of them. We were informed this was "Monkey Business." We were instructed to stick the stalks in the first tube, which would contain spiced honey, and then into the second tube, which contained basically crunchy bits, but she rattled off a long list of ingredients too fast to catch and I'm pretty sure concluded with "and maybe ants." Just maybe? She started to walk away, and then had to turn back to tell us that all the foliage was not actually for eating. Because we were now at the point where it was no longer possible to determine what was food and what was table setting. (It was actually reasonably tasty.)
- There was also a local leaf which was described as their riff on nori, which they pressed to paper thinness, dehydrated, and sprinkled with nori powder. I am not sure how this was superior to being served a sheet of nori (just, y'know, plain slightly crunchy paper thin leaf, balanced on a napkin), other than being more expensive.
- They tempura fried a plumeria flower. Did it have a taste, or a point beyond being a recognizable shape, covered in tempura batter? No, it did not. (They misted it with frangipani. Didn't help.)
- There were a number of deconstructed vegetables. Like a large half cross section of carrot that had been cut apart like tree rings and reassembled for reasons. With a carrot puree and carrot consumme like thing and carrot oil and I dunno, carrot mist. Intensely carrot. Like getting punched in the uvula with the essence of carrot. Were any of them actually delicious? ...no, they were not. Broccoli and tomato received similar treatement.
- They sous-vided a poor chicken until it didn't have a recognizable texture anymore. I had to reassure Chuckro that I've had sous vide chicken that was pleasant. Also, there was a black garlic puree involved that clung unpleasantly to my tongue.
- There was the predictable parade of desserts, including basically a mancala set of desserts, many of which were actually delightful. But then they ended on a palm sugar caramel gelato that somehow wasn't sweet, with a kaffir lime oil that was actually unpleasant and a meringue that was confusing. It actually kind of literally left a bad taste in my mouth.
In conclusion, the best things were the ones that weren't on the menu and the beef heart pastrami, which was surprisingly tasty. (The less said about the mango kombucha, the better.)
So it was...interesting. Definitely interesting. But the majority of the courses were not actually delicious, or even pleasant. Don't get me wrong. We had a delightful time. (It helped that we'd prepaid months ago as part of the entire package, so it didn't really feel like a thing we were actively buying so much as just an experience that was happening to us.) We totally made friends with our skeptical neighbors (and assured them that their restaurant reservation for Mozaic the next night would make them feel better.) Should have exchanged contact info - they got the 9 course tasting menu while we only got six, and I was relieved not to have to eat "everything that lives, grows and swims in and around the Ubud rice fields" or the lobster tartar, I'm curious how the coriander ice cream sandwich came out. Probably like getting punched in the teeth by the essence of coriander.
So, while in Bali, we went to a number of fancy restaurants, including two extremely high concept places back to back. I'd mentioned Mozaic, a French-based haut cuisine place with the boat of local ingredients on your table and the drinks menu that was literally a summary of the Ramayana. And the blowtorch for the nuts that came with my drink.
But Locavore was something else. Apparently Danish-based. It was the classic parody of an expensive fancy restaurant. Let me put it this way. The couple next to us turned out to be from Brooklyn. And we ended up bonding over our efforts to not laugh until the wait staff had gotten far enough away. The dude and I had both seen "Always Be My Maybe" and I swear, this would have been completely in character for the place if Keanu Reeves was sitting in a corner, listening on headphones to the sounds of the deer he was eating from when it was still in the forest, silently weeping and mouthing "Thank you." If they'd popped a bag full of flavored air in my face, I wouldn't have been surprised. It would have made a nice contrast to all the things they nonsensically misted with other things.
- Chuckro's drink also involved a blowtorch. His was called "Ashes" and was supposed to have a smoky profile. In his case, though, the blowtorch was to literally set fire to a pine cone, which was set to smolder in front of him, so the smell could kind of waft at him.
- We'd gotten used to boxes of flowers as offerings everywhere we went, so we weren't surprised when they set down a palm leaf box full of flowers when we were seated and told it was an offering and a way of welcoming us. We were surprised when they came back a few minutes later, sprinkled it with salt, misted it with hibiscus vinegar, presented us with chopsticks and told us to eat it. The flowers were all edible. (Including several I didn't know were edible, like cosmos.) Although really, by "edible" we mean "won't hurt you if you eat them." They were in no way delicious. Once we'd eaten our way through, we discovered that the menus were hidden underneath our flower salad course.
- This was just the first of several nonsensical amuse bouches.
- Next, they brought us an enormous arrangement of foliage in a giant bowl. It had two bamboo shoots sticking out, with lemongrass stalks sticking out of one of them. We were informed this was "Monkey Business." We were instructed to stick the stalks in the first tube, which would contain spiced honey, and then into the second tube, which contained basically crunchy bits, but she rattled off a long list of ingredients too fast to catch and I'm pretty sure concluded with "and maybe ants." Just maybe? She started to walk away, and then had to turn back to tell us that all the foliage was not actually for eating. Because we were now at the point where it was no longer possible to determine what was food and what was table setting. (It was actually reasonably tasty.)
- There was also a local leaf which was described as their riff on nori, which they pressed to paper thinness, dehydrated, and sprinkled with nori powder. I am not sure how this was superior to being served a sheet of nori (just, y'know, plain slightly crunchy paper thin leaf, balanced on a napkin), other than being more expensive.
- They tempura fried a plumeria flower. Did it have a taste, or a point beyond being a recognizable shape, covered in tempura batter? No, it did not. (They misted it with frangipani. Didn't help.)
- There were a number of deconstructed vegetables. Like a large half cross section of carrot that had been cut apart like tree rings and reassembled for reasons. With a carrot puree and carrot consumme like thing and carrot oil and I dunno, carrot mist. Intensely carrot. Like getting punched in the uvula with the essence of carrot. Were any of them actually delicious? ...no, they were not. Broccoli and tomato received similar treatement.
- They sous-vided a poor chicken until it didn't have a recognizable texture anymore. I had to reassure Chuckro that I've had sous vide chicken that was pleasant. Also, there was a black garlic puree involved that clung unpleasantly to my tongue.
- There was the predictable parade of desserts, including basically a mancala set of desserts, many of which were actually delightful. But then they ended on a palm sugar caramel gelato that somehow wasn't sweet, with a kaffir lime oil that was actually unpleasant and a meringue that was confusing. It actually kind of literally left a bad taste in my mouth.
In conclusion, the best things were the ones that weren't on the menu and the beef heart pastrami, which was surprisingly tasty. (The less said about the mango kombucha, the better.)
So it was...interesting. Definitely interesting. But the majority of the courses were not actually delicious, or even pleasant. Don't get me wrong. We had a delightful time. (It helped that we'd prepaid months ago as part of the entire package, so it didn't really feel like a thing we were actively buying so much as just an experience that was happening to us.) We totally made friends with our skeptical neighbors (and assured them that their restaurant reservation for Mozaic the next night would make them feel better.) Should have exchanged contact info - they got the 9 course tasting menu while we only got six, and I was relieved not to have to eat "everything that lives, grows and swims in and around the Ubud rice fields" or the lobster tartar, I'm curious how the coriander ice cream sandwich came out. Probably like getting punched in the teeth by the essence of coriander.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-10 10:30 am (UTC)From: