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Title: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
Authors: Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish, Kimberly Ann Coe
Genre: Parenting
Thingummies: 3.5
Synopsis: A perennial favorite with a really descriptive title.
Thoughts: Advice columnist Carolyn Hax is constantly touting this book, so when I had the chance to pick it up for 50 cents, I grabbed it.
I'm not going to say that it's useless. I think there were a couple pointers that might be helpful to me. But mostly, I think I'm already doing a lot of the things suggested. Many of the examples used are of very authoritarian parents trying to find less damaging ways of relating to their children. I was lucky enough that my mother was already using this kind of language when I was a child, so it's naturally how I'm already speaking to my own son. The idea of simply describing a problem and letting the kid work out how to fix it rather than jumping on them or punishing them does make a certain amount of sense. But I think I've already been doing a pretty good job of naming and not judging or invalidating his feelings.
So this might be really valuable to someone struggling to overcome negative patterns. But for me, so far, so good.
Also--it's starting to show signs of its age. While the actual advice is all still totally sound, the language they suggest using is getting dated enough to sound really dorky to the modern ear. Take it in the spirit it's intended, but don't parrot directly--your kid will stare at you like you jumped out of a 70s sitcom.
Authors: Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish, Kimberly Ann Coe
Genre: Parenting
Thingummies: 3.5
Synopsis: A perennial favorite with a really descriptive title.
Thoughts: Advice columnist Carolyn Hax is constantly touting this book, so when I had the chance to pick it up for 50 cents, I grabbed it.
I'm not going to say that it's useless. I think there were a couple pointers that might be helpful to me. But mostly, I think I'm already doing a lot of the things suggested. Many of the examples used are of very authoritarian parents trying to find less damaging ways of relating to their children. I was lucky enough that my mother was already using this kind of language when I was a child, so it's naturally how I'm already speaking to my own son. The idea of simply describing a problem and letting the kid work out how to fix it rather than jumping on them or punishing them does make a certain amount of sense. But I think I've already been doing a pretty good job of naming and not judging or invalidating his feelings.
So this might be really valuable to someone struggling to overcome negative patterns. But for me, so far, so good.
Also--it's starting to show signs of its age. While the actual advice is all still totally sound, the language they suggest using is getting dated enough to sound really dorky to the modern ear. Take it in the spirit it's intended, but don't parrot directly--your kid will stare at you like you jumped out of a 70s sitcom.
