Smidgen updates

[jethrien]

We took yesterday off to look at All The Daycares. Oof. Yes, yes, we should have done this two months ago. I've got a clear favorite; they've got a year waitlist. Sorry, Smidge--just put it in the inevitably long line of ways we'll screw things up for you. Anyway, we'll apply to a couple, and probably try to start him at one (which is ok, he'll be fine, just not as nice) and transfer him over if we ever get de-wait-listed.

Other fun things--I'm apparently putting on weight too fast. I'm supposed to be eating more protein but fewer calories overall. Which is not easy when half the time, I'm famished. Also, ordering lunch out has become almost impossible. With all the food restrictions (lunch meats, sushi, sprouts, soft cheese including goat and feta, restrictions on the type and serving size of fish, salad bars) and then calorie restrictions on top of that, I usually can't eat 90-95% of what's on any given lunch menu. And I'd thought I was doing so well there.

Oh, and I forget if I mentioned--Smidgen learned a new game about two weeks back. It's called "Kick Mommy in the Bladder". It's his new favorite game. (To be fair, kid doesn't have a lot of entertainment options at the moment.) He plays it a lot.

Comments

[qiika.livejournal.com]

I didn't follow half of the usual pregnancy food restrictions (of which almost all are ridiculous and unnecessary in my opinion), and I was lucky enough to not have any extra restrictions put on by the midwives. I'm not encouraging you to break all of the restrictions, just some of them, and only if you want to. :) One of my best food memories while pregnant this last time was eating lots of goat cheese and crackers at a dinner party. (Note: I had major food issues and wasn't eating anywhere near "enough" food for all but the last couple months of pregnancy. So when food looked appetizing, I took advantage. I now have a very healthy kidling.)

Applying to daycares? Ugh. We were lucky that the local JCC had an opening. We visited 6 months before care was needed, which is apparently usually not enough advance warning. What do parents do? Put their kids on the waitlist before they're conceived? One of the local university daycares has a 3 year waitlist, including for infants. Again, ugh.

Best of luck! I hope Smidgen doesn't figure out "Kick Mommy in the Kidneys". That's even less fun, trust me.

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Best of luck! I hope Smidgen doesn't figure out "Kick Mommy in the Kidneys". That's even less fun, trust me.

Oh, he's worked out that one, too. He's just not big enough to get enough force going to do more than poke. Just give him time.

[qiika.livejournal.com]

Has he started on the yoga or gymnastics yet? Fetal somersaults are... something.

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Constantly, I just can't always feel them so far. Watching the ultrasound--man, that kid moves. Also, likes sitting on his head. Also, likes having his feet up by his nose. Three different technicians called him a gymnast.

[negativeq.livejournal.com]

Why can't you eat goat cheese and feta?
Is Smidge on a waitlist for infant day care, or when he is older? And, how do you pick these places?! And what do people who can't afford (who presumably can't stay home) daycare do?!!

[fairest.livejournal.com]

Soft cheese and lunchmeats sometimes have listeria monocytogenes bacteria in them. Listeria's bad for mom and fetus, and it's one of the big meningitis-causers in newborns.

[bigscary.livejournal.com]

They get trapped in a crushing cycle of poverty. This is deliberate.

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

I think "deliberate" is overstating it--I don't think there's a vast conspiracy devoted to specifically keeping people poor on purpose because reasons. I think it's more a combination of callousness/victim blaming/Calvinist belief that people who are poor did something to deserve it. Richer people think "she chose to not go to college/take a low paying job/have sex/keep a baby, why should my taxes/business pay for her convenience". I don't think it's deliberate evil so much as self-absorption and short-sightedness that's set up the system we have.

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

No soft cheeses--risk of listeria. (Along with no raw meats, fish, or eggs; unpasteurized milk or things made with it; large fish like bluefin tuna, shark, or swordfish; more than 6 oz of albacore a week; lunch meats; sprouts; salad bars; pretty much all medications; alcohol; more than a cup of coffee worth of caffeine a day; nail polish...)

Smidge is on a waitlist for infant care. In this area, apparently you need to apply by the beginning of the second trimester or earlier. I basically did a search through Google, recommendations from other moms, and forums for all of the day cares in our area that offered infant day care and went through their websites. Chuckro then called them all and set up appointments. We took a full day off from work and visited the top candidates (most won't let you apply unless you've visited).

A lot of my former coworkers got nannies or nanny-shares instead.

I think what less well-off people do is probably park infants with relatves/friends/neighbors, or fly-by-night daycares run underground out of people's homes.

It's a terrible system, really. You don't even want to know what it costs a year. The fancy ones in Manhattan (which we'd never even consider) can apparently be as much as $40k a year--college-level pricing.

[lithoglyphic.livejournal.com]

My sympathies, I'm having a similar issues with wedding venues (apparently everyone around here thinks 2-year engagements are somewhere between short and normal). Although wedding venues are much less important than kid care.

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Yes, although they inspire a very different kind of crazy. With childcare, you have the whole "I don't want to screw up my child for life" thing, yes, but there's also a knowledge that you're going to have to deal with the whole package--including the bill--every day for years. And if you make a crappy decision, there are opportunities to change it. It forces a certain level of practicality that's easy to lose for weddings, where you're trying to make a memory for life but you only get one shot. And while everyone wants to tell you how to raise your kids, it's still not the same level of involvement that you get with relatives invested in your wedding. You have to please fewer people.

They are both hard, in different ways. And stress is stress. You don't have to downplay the hardness, really. God knows I'm thrilled I never have to plan my own wedding again. (If something were to ever happen to Chuckro and I were to end up marrying again, I would be going with a much smaller and less elaborate wedding than the one we had. I loved the one we had, I wouldn't really change anything significant at all, but I'm also delighted it's over and I don't have to do it again.)