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[jethrien]

I'm reading a book called Cheap: The High Cost of Discount Culture, which is predictably shrill but interesting nonetheless. It is, however, crystallizing a thought that I've been aware of for some time but perhaps not blatantly thinking about.

I suck at shopping.

I am really bad at a)determining what the true value of something is and b)evaluating how much I want it. I can't remember prices, I'm terrible at haggling, and I regularly fail at predicting how much I'll value something later. Chuckro knows exactly what the normal price of butter is, what the normal discount on butter is, and at what price you buy six pounds of butter on sale and stuff it in the freezer. Me? Not a clue. Been buying butter for years, Chuckro repeatedly and patiently reminds me how much is too much to pay for butter, it doesn't stick.

I have a closet full of clothes, half of which I adore and are wearing out and I cannot find replacements for, half of which are kind of shoddy or don't fit quite right or aren't actually as stylish as they seemed in the store. I came home from Italy with a dress that's really cute but I subsequently realized isn't as appropriate for the office as I hoped, a wildly impractical but super awesome coat I know I paid too much money for because of the aforementioned sucking at haggling, and a purse that's of excellent quality but is turning out to not fit my needs as well as hoped. All of which I do really like but probably only bought because I was on vacation and I knew there was no chance of ever buying them again. Meanwhile, there were a handful of inexpensive trinkets that I didn't buy because I felt like I was spending too much money and now wish I'd gotten.

I make bad snap decisions. Aware of this, I will over research and dither until I get sick of myself and make a bad snap decision at the end anyway. (When I was a kid, this led to endless fruitless shopping trips. I've gotten better about settling so I get out of the store faster, but I don't think the actual success rate of acquiring things I love at a price comensurate with the value I place on the item.) Frequently things turn out well, but they also turn out badly frequently as well. I don't think I've bought a pair of pants I was actually happy with in three years. My coworkers seem to be able to dress themselves without remorse like grown up people do. Why is it that I'm so bad at this?

Comments

[wavilyem.livejournal.com]

I think I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. For example, I'm sure I paid at least a few hundred dollars more for my car than I needed to because I really didn't want to go through the whole rigamorole of pretending I didn't like the car, threaten to walk out of the dealership, etc. But even though I didn't do enough pricing research, I spent a lot of time test driving other cars and knew what features I wanted and used that to determine exactly what model, what trim level, what color, and what accessories I wanted before walking in the door. So at least in the end, I got exactly what I wanted. Perhaps what might help you is not to worry about the shopping logistics, pricing, and haggling until you've spent enough time figuring out what type of dress, purse, etc. you'd ideally want. That way when you are pressured to make a snap decision you'll have a better basis for deciding how useful a product would be for you.

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

Well, the thing is, with a car there are a specific set of criteria. You can look them up, figure out which you want, walk in and say "I want that one." I've actually done fine with defined tasks like this - I'm very happy with my camera, my computer, and the package trip I just took to Italy.

But with a purse or dress, when I say "I want a blue sparkly dress that's bias cut with a halter top that ends at the knee", that doesn't mean I'll actually find one. Or that if I do, it will fit, fit well, and be an appropriate price and quality. I've actually given up to some extent on setting too many criteria. I've discovered that if I go out with a specific idea in mind, I will never find it, and thus get to the day before the event with no dress and be forced to buy whatever I find next.

[lithoglyphic.livejournal.com]

Throughout college, I went on large shopping trips every time I went home and opportunistically bought only the things that looked good on me. For the most part, they were on clearance. That worked awesomely, for college. Memorably, I paid exactly $5 for one of my winter formals dresses, and that isn't to diminish how much I actually did like it.

Work clothes, on the other hand, are a pain. If I try to shop opportunistically for them, I find go home empty-handed. I've decided that when I am again a citizen of regular-paycheck-land, I am going to go to Macy's and have their free personal stylists pick stuff out for me. It's just as likely to work out (or not) as my own choosing, and it'll take a heck of a lot less time.

[lithoglyphic.livejournal.com]

One other thing I do is make liberal use of returns. I always try things on in the store, but I often try them on AGAIN when I get home, and at that time I attempt to accessorize them and match them with other things I already own. If the piece seems less useful when I try to coordinate it, I'll take it back.

[lithoglyphic.livejournal.com]

I have no idea what the usual cost of butter is, because I haven't noticed it vary that much, and it's not that expensive in the first place. But I definitely know the typical value of the expensive produce (berries, pineapples, red bell peppers) so that I can buy it when it's cheap.

[oblvndrgn.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm more or less ignorant of the price of staples like butter because I know what brand I buy and I buy it. If there's a yellow sticker by the package I might buy it before my last pack runs out, but that's the extent of my decision making. I'm more aware of the prices for items I only buy when they're cheap/on sale, like organic berries and various kinds of fish. I am, though, hopelessly bamboozled by 'now on sale!' stickers. I acknowledge this flaw. If Whole Foods were to say "50% off!" but raise the price $4, I'd probably buy whatever it is because I'm an idiot.

Maybe buying clothes that end up not awesome or purses that don't fit is a spatial thing? I don't buy new clothes all that often but I'm pretty bad at judging whether a large item will in a given spot in my apartment or not, and I have pretty poor spatial memory.

[chuckro.livejournal.com]

We bake like fiends and butter freezes well. It's to my benefit to buy four pounds of butter when it's on sale for $1.88 and have it whenever I need it, then buy it when I specifically need it for $4.50.

I have a decent idea of optimal prices for produce, too, but it's easier to keep track of stapes like pasta, tuna or OJ because our supermarket regularly puts them up as loss leaders.

[jeths-mom.livejournal.com]

I really hate to think that you have regrets about any part of that trip - it was so flawless. The coat is well worth the cost - I don't think you will ever see anything like it at the price you paid, and it will last for years. I don't know about baubles - I can't think of anything else that it would have made sense to buy. But if the purse doesn't suit you, I'll buy it from you and keep it until I need it - which I should have done while we were there.

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

A couple more of the necklaces, a scarf or two, a bottle of vino santo. Things I rejected because I felt like I was buying too much stuff, but cost practically nothing.

I think I can make the purse work. I need to rethink how I organize things. I don't think I would have bought it here, and wonder if I should have bought one of the flashier ones if I was going to buy one that needed a wallet in any case. Meanwhile, I just bought a pair of shoes that seemed ok in the store but gave me enormous blisters. I'd been worried about them not being a perfect fit, decided that after trying on dozens of pairs I needed to just settle on something, and was in fact wrong again.

[jeths-mom.livejournal.com]

Meh. You really can buy the same necklaces and scarfs in NYC at similar prices, you just walk past them everyday because you're not on vacation.

I so seldom find shoes that don't give me blisters or some other problem. (I hate shoes.) I just wait til the blisters heal and wear them again/repeat, until I get the required callus.

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

I, too, hate shoes. Did you teach me to hate shoes? :)

[ivy03.livejournal.com]

I don't think I'm as good at knowing prices for groceries. When I need butter, I buy butter. Since I'm generally buying small portions, I'm paying more anyway.

When it comes to clothes, I've found shopping in one store helps. It limits my options, and I know what is a good price for the store, and what is high enough to wait for a sale. So I can spend an hour or two and look at everything and make a decision that optimizes utility, rather than going to, say, Macy's on 34th and being completely overwhelmed. That being said, I have my share of ridiculous purchases. Seen my purple pimp coat lately?

I will also point out that chuckro is his mother's son. I think the price of butter is passed down genetically.

[ivy03.livejournal.com]

I went the other direction with souvenirs--I have lots of little stuffed mooses, sami boots, viking coins, etc. But I did also make two big jewelry purchases. One I even unintentionally haggled for! It was a jeweler who came to meet the train at the Arctic Circle. I wanted a necklace, I only had 300 kr, and the train was leaving. So he gave it to me for 300 kr, because there was no way I could pay any more.

I wish I'd had the money to buy a reproduction of one of the Overhogdal tapestries, though. They were gorgeous. But so expensive.

[jethrien.livejournal.com]

What would you do with it, though?

[ivy03.livejournal.com]

Hang it on my wall as a conversation piece?