Incoherent stylishness

So I went to go see Immortals last night with a bunch of folks, expecting it to be stylishly awful. We were not disappointed.

glvalentine and xannoside both have more substantial comments than I'm going to make, since I would be here all afternoon if I tried to list everything that was wrong with this movie. Although the visuals are stunning. Some of them (50%?) are strikingly gorgeous; the rest are ambitious failures. Especially the headgear. Oh god the headgear. The theater actually burst out laughing when we got a good look at poor Poseidon's hat. And the incredibly evil and terrifying bad guy who wants to destroy the gods and spends most of the movie torturing people to death in graphic and nightmare-inducing ways wears a lobster claw on his head. Way to completely destroy your own sense of menace, dude. And Zeus? That seedy little mustache is not doing you any favors.

My guess of how this movie was made was that the director storyboarded a series of striking, dreamlike images he wanted to film. He then pulled random mythological names, threw them in a hat, and shoehorned the images and the names into an incoherent plot. Then he got George Lucas drunk and made him write all the dialogue in an afternoon. Because that's the level of dialogue we're talking about here, people.

In conclusion, Tarsem Singh really likes billowing red cloth.