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Unexpected trauma
Jun. 18th, 2016 03:45 pmI'm in the middle of reading <i>Seveneves</i>, which overall is an excellent novel if you're into super-crunchy SF and don't mind the horrible deaths of most of the human race. (The book begins with the moon exploding. Discuss.)
But my decision to read a bit before bed last night was a terrible one. I ended up really riled up, managed to get to sleep for awhile, but then woke up around 1:30 or so and didn't actually get back to sleep until at least 4:30. It wasn't the end of the world that was bothering me (although he writes a touchingly beautiful/awful end of the world). It took me a while to work it out, but the antagonist reminds me at the bone-level of the guy who made my life so awful at my last job. I couldn't stop thinking about this fictional character and her ability to run political rings around everyone and totally destroy everything just for the sake of her own power. It tapped into that remembered sense of helplessness and panic that had me on anti-anxiety medication and resulted in stress-induced IBS that took the better part of a year to get over.
I don't actually want to read more of this, but I kind of have to (Hugo votes aside) because I'm pretty sure the only way I'm going to finish processing this is to read all the way through. I'm hoping that it gets dealt with in a satisfying manner (she doesn't even have to die, she just needs to be politically neutralized--I don't care if she goes on to live a perfectly happy life without being punished as long as someone stops her from mucking everything up). I'm honestly getting my stomach in knots just thinking about it. Debating whether it would help deliberately trying to spoil myself.
But my decision to read a bit before bed last night was a terrible one. I ended up really riled up, managed to get to sleep for awhile, but then woke up around 1:30 or so and didn't actually get back to sleep until at least 4:30. It wasn't the end of the world that was bothering me (although he writes a touchingly beautiful/awful end of the world). It took me a while to work it out, but the antagonist reminds me at the bone-level of the guy who made my life so awful at my last job. I couldn't stop thinking about this fictional character and her ability to run political rings around everyone and totally destroy everything just for the sake of her own power. It tapped into that remembered sense of helplessness and panic that had me on anti-anxiety medication and resulted in stress-induced IBS that took the better part of a year to get over.
I don't actually want to read more of this, but I kind of have to (Hugo votes aside) because I'm pretty sure the only way I'm going to finish processing this is to read all the way through. I'm hoping that it gets dealt with in a satisfying manner (she doesn't even have to die, she just needs to be politically neutralized--I don't care if she goes on to live a perfectly happy life without being punished as long as someone stops her from mucking everything up). I'm honestly getting my stomach in knots just thinking about it. Debating whether it would help deliberately trying to spoil myself.
