Not the best night of sleep

So, around 2am, I woke up. I then proceeded to wake up every few minutes for about two hours, without quite achieving full consciousness, I think. Because what kept waking me up was that as soon as I dropped back into sleep, I was a sheet of paper. This wouldn't have been a problem except that I was the wrong size, you see, and worse than that, I had the wrong font on me. Naturally, this is far to distressing to expect someone to sleep through. So I'd wake up. But clearly not all the way awake, because my reaction was not "oh, that's a weird dream", but absolute despair at not being able to sleep, and why is it these things happen to me, why must I be the one who's the wrong size paper?

Now that I'm all the way awake...WTF, brain? I mean, really? Does this make some kind of sense to you in your shadowy recesses? 'Cause conscious me is just plain confused. How do you even come up with this stuff?